


Symbology

by bluestargirl6 (pressdbtwnpages)



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-16
Updated: 2005-07-16
Packaged: 2017-10-04 14:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressdbtwnpages/pseuds/bluestargirl6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ocean is a major focal point of Logan's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Symbology

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Veronica Mars Summer Ficathon for [](http://sunkissdbaby88.livejournal.com/profile)[**sunkissdbaby88**](http://sunkissdbaby88.livejournal.com/) who requested: Logan/Veronica, memories/flashbacks, swimming, Logan eating another red apple. Spoilers for Season 1.

Logan swam before he walked, got a surfboard for his fifth birthday. They had to beg and plead and send his ancient nanny into the waves to pry him out. Water was his escape. Sitting out there in the swells, floating, waiting for the next big set to break, it's like you're the only one in the world. Out in the water it doesn't matter Who You Are, waves don't judge before they knock you over, drag you down, spin you around until you can't tell the surface from the sand, or send you on a rushing ride.

That's why Aaron uses a belt. Because the cuts are long and visible and sting like a bitch in salt water. The beating isn't really the punishment, denying Logan the sanctuary of the sea, that is.

But Logan's kind of a masochist. He likes saying "fuck you" to his body, to his father, to the world. So he goes to the beach anyway. He's Logan and he's blase and if he's not going to acknowledge the wounds on his back no one else will either.

There are no fresh cuts now. Haven't been in awhile. And the ocean feels less like a sanctuary since it took his mother, since she threw herself at it. The waves lapping at his torso unsettle him, make his skin crawl instead of lulling him into peace. But this is Logan's routine, it is what he does and still doesn't care Who He Is, doesn't take pictures of him and sell them to tabloids.

He didn't bother to bring his board today. The water's too still anyway, and he's way too manic to concentrate. Coming to the beach Logan knew he wasn't going to be experiencing any zen moments as waves broke over him. Still he came, because it is what he does, it is what he clings to so that he doesn't fall into a bottle of alcohol like his mother or become an abusive jackass like his father. He is already too close to slipping down those paths.  
Logan sighs. Nothing is more depressing than being depressed in the place that makes you the happiest. Pretty soon he'll start wondering about sharks lurking off the coast and that always means it's time to go in.

The sun is setting behind him and there's lots of glare, still, Logan can make out a lone figure sitting on the beach in front of him and a little to the right. He's melancholy and moody and his mind is going weird places, so it doesn't surprise him much when Veronica Mars stands, grabs his towel, and comes to meet him halfway.

"Good swim?" She asks as he takes the towel from her hand and scrubs off briskly.

"Not really." He snaps and feels like pointing out that it was really a wade, a wallow in so many senses of the word.

Veronica hands him a paper towel full of something. He unfolds it and is surprised to see sliced red apples, barely starting to brown.

They're his favorite post-surf snack. He's being making do with whole apples and his pocket-knife since his mom died, but before that she used to cut them up for him every afternoon, even though he was far too old for his mother to be making him snacks. The only time Lynn Echolls ever went near a kitchen.  
It's a peace offering, always has been, Logan gets that. Veronica brought it to the beach because this was where peace was lost. Maybe five miles or so south actually, and a couple hundred feet inland, but Logan doesn't have the urge to quibble about details. Not when Veronica's standing her in front of him offering

"An apple? So what does that make you? Eve?" he looks her over with a sneer.

Logan doesn't want to think of her going to the store and picking out an apple, taking it out and slicing it in her tiny apartment kitchen, wrapping the pieces in paper and bringing them here, protecting them from the sand.  
Veronica doesn't say anything, just hunches over, hands in her pockets, and stares at the sand.

He doesn't know what it is about Veronica Mars that makes Logan want to hurt her. He wants to shake her until she is limp, kick her until she stops moving, kiss her until she is blue.

"Is that how it's going to be now?" Veronica demands standing up straight and looking him in the eye. "We're going back to bully and… bully-ignorer?"

"Bully-ignorer? Is that what you were?" Logan mocks. "Don't pretend I didn't get to you, that the things I said to you don't sting."

"I used to be a lot of things. So did you."

"And what are you now? The Lilly Avenger? Veronica The Demon Slayer? SuperMars?"

"I could be asking you the same question."

"But I asked first."

Veronica shrugs. "I don't know, Logan. Things are messed up, they've changed. I don't know, I've probably changed too."

"Again." It comes out as an accusation and surprises both of them.

"People change, Logan. That's what they do."

"Don't preach to me, Mars. Do whatever it is you came here to do and leave."

"I already have," Veronica turns and begins to walk away.

"You forgot something!" Logan calls after her.

Veronica turns. "What?"

"You never said you were sorry!"

Veronica strides back rapidly. "Why would I apologize to you?" She pokes him hard in the chest.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe, because you turned me in to the fucking police for murdering my girlfriend?"

"You know I wanted to be wrong. You know I didn't want to hurt you."

"Do you regret it Veronica? Do you regret it even a little bit?" He demands though he knows her well enough now to not want to know the answer.

Veronica met his eyes. "No. I did what I had to do. I'm not going to apologize for that."

"Not even to me? You had me arrested. You sent my dad to prison."

"And that is such a great personal loss for you."

"He's my father."

"I know. He's also abusive and a murderer. Everybody's somebody's father."

"Some people are mothers. Or don't have children."

Veronica shook her head. "I don't want to fight with you about this. I don't even know why I'm still standing here. All I wanted to do was…"

"Was what Veronica? What did you hope to accomplish with your sliced up fruit?"

She shrugged. "You're not the only one, you know. Who's lost something. Who remembers."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means Duncan left the day school let out. He's touring Europe with his cousins."

"So?"

"It means I've been working every case that comes into my dad's office. I've been claiming it's to help pay the bills, but," Veronica shrugs.

"That's terrific Veronica, really it is," Logan says in a voice that indicates that it is anything but terrific. "But what. The fuck. Are you talking about?"

Veronia continued as if he hadn't spoken. "It means you've been doing a lot of surfing?"

"SO?" Logan screams into the wind. "SO FUCKING WHAT?"

Veronica lowers her voice in response to his raised one. "It's time to stop avoiding things."

"I will when you will, Ronnie," he adds venomously.

"I'm standing here!"

"You brought me apples!"

"Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it does!"

"So what are you going to do about it?"

Logan threw down his towel and stormed away. "I'm going surfing!"


End file.
